I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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