I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
