Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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