Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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