I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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