People with herpes should wear stickers.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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