I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
