Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
