It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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