Sry I called you an 8
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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