I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
