I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My bed smells like the plague
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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