I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
