I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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