can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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