Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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