i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize