I'm sorry my penis didn't work
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
