Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
