If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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