I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
