He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
