Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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