The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
