just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
