In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize