Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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