I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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