nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Acid is not a monday night drug
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am one with the molecules
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
