i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
