Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
