Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I want is dick and wine.
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