Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
