Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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