Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
