So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
