Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize