I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
