my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
