There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
