I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
