There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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