apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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