i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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