Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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