id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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