i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
