a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize