are you still at the devil's house?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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