i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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