I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
birth control should be required to get into college
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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