Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
