I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
