It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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