He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize