I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
