this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize