I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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