There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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