Me. At least after what I've been through.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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