she smelled like a LAN party
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
