singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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