just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
